


it ain't him that's on your mind.

by icursedthisworld



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Broken Engagement, F/F, One Shot, again I can't tag, chaesoo for 1 second, happy ending of course, joyrene for 5 seconds, lisa is completely whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22864282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icursedthisworld/pseuds/icursedthisworld
Summary: Lisa has an affair with her boss' fiancée.orthe one where Jennie is engaged to another man and Lisa honestly couldn't care lessedited 30/08/2020: punctuation and other mistakes corrected, no changes to storyline
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa
Comments: 14
Kudos: 214





	it ain't him that's on your mind.

**Author's Note:**

> i've had this idea for days now and somehow i managed to actually write it. Inspired by Monsta X's Got My Number, feel free to listen to the song while reading.
> 
> I wrote this instead of studying for my exams, enjoy my work of procrastination.
> 
> Also i do NOT encourage infidelity, this is just a work of fiction.

Jennie knew, from the moment Kai and his family had walked into her life, that she was going to marry him. Not by choice, but because it was expected of her.

She loved her parents unconditionally. For as long as she could remember, her mum and dad gave her everything she wished for. Making her happy was what they lived for, and Jennie had always been grateful for their caring nature. They used to be a normal, happy family.

Until they weren’t.

From the times she watched her father lose everything into gambling, to the times she was welcomed home to her mother alone in the kitchen with multiple empty whiskey bottles. She saw it coming. Her family didn’t have the financial stability they needed, but they had her. And the fact that Kim Jongin wanted her as a wife meant that her parents could have him and his wealth too. And that was the only thing she could have done that would have made them proud, and for Jennie that was a priority.

At first appearance, he seemed like a sweet boy with a huge crush on her. So from that, Jennie truly believed that there was a chance at her own happiness, even in a loveless marriage. He treated her well, better than she had expected, and that was enough to say yes.

* * *

Kai inherited his father’s company a year before their wedding date. As a logical response, Jennie wanted to be happy for him. And she would have, if he had remained the same man she agreed to marry.

But he had not.

Jennie was forced to watch him become a completely different person. Day by day, Kai was taken over by greed: power, money, success – he wanted it all. Having her was not enough anymore. He wanted to collect many more insignificant achievements in life, ones that he didn’t necessarily need, but her sure went after what he wanted.

Jennie thought she could stop him, she thought she could fix his poisoned soul. Needless to say, he shut her down at every try.

Even though there where countless times where Kai made her feel worthless, Jennie remained by his side as a good girlfriend. But she was only human after all, she was inevitably going to reach her limit.

One night, he decided to take her to his company’s annual party. It was not enough for him to put all his business achievements on display, he wanted her to be his trophy too. And yes, perhaps if she loved him and he loved her, things would have been different. But as she stood with his arm around her waist, she felt trapped. She felt used. The faces around them stared down at her, the CEO’s ‘spoiled fiancée’ they probably thought. And all she could do was attack them with a cold and heartless gaze, her only defence.

“Mr Kim, Lisa has just arrived,” said a girl in an elegant white dress.

“Perfect timing! I’ll get the champagne, let her find us.” Kai didn’t hesitate in leaving her behind, as always. Jennie didn’t mind though, she was grateful for any moment away from the spotlight.

While waiting, Jennie curiously glanced at the tall girl with an Australian accent that had approached them. She somehow had an innocent aura around her, and when she made eye contact with her, she remained just as cute.

Jennie was surprised to receive a genuine smile and a polite bow. “You look lovely, Mrs Kim.”

“It’s Miss,” she was quick to correct. “And thank you…?”

“Park Chaeyoung. But you can call me Rosé if you prefer, Miss Kim.”

Jennie shook her head and smiled at the adorable interaction. “It’s Jennie, please.”

Kai joined her again soon after, holding two glasses of champagne. She knew it wasn’t for her. He didn’t like the idea of her drinking. She never bothered arguing about it.

“Kim Jongin!”

Jennie turned towards the direction of the sudden shout, alongside most of the crowd around her.

A girl with shoulder-length blonde hair in a tailored black suit was walking confidently towards her—or better, towards Kai. Her facial expression didn’t really scream excitement, but Kai seemed to think it did.

He stepped forward to give her an energetic handshake and a pat on the back. “I heard the deal went very smoothly. You’re the best!”

The girl grinned and returned the handshake. “It’s always a pleasure to carry out business in your name.”

And that was when Jennie noticed.

She had to use all of her self-control to not burst out laughing, but she couldn’t hide the slight upturn of her lips. The blonde may have looked like an extremely close friend of her boyfriend, but Jennie could read the signs very clearly. The cheeky smile, the hidden sarcasms in her words, the stiff composure, and the dull look in her eyes.

This girl hated his guts.

And Jennie found Kai’s obliviousness to it extremely amusing.

When the girl finally met her eyes, she stopped talking. Her fake smile faded to be replaced with a look of wonder instead, alongside what seemed like a spark in her eyes. She was taking her in all at once, enough to make Jennie feel slightly shy. She made sure to not let it show.

When Kai noticed the lack of attention from his best employee was caused by _his_ woman, he immediately circled Jennie’s shoulders with his free arm and smirked arrogantly.

“Well Lisa, I see you you’ve been left wonderstruck by my soon-to-be wife. This is my Jennie, I spoke to you about her.”

Jennie nearly rolled her eyes at the big-headed attitude, but stopped herself when she noticed Lisa’s eyes still fixed on her. Her gaze slightly hardened after hearing Kai speak, though she hid it soon after.

Jennie broke the silence by stepping away from Kai’s grasp and holding out her hand for Lisa. “A pleasure to meet you, Lisa.”

The blonde glanced at the hand offered and hesitated a split second before gently holding it with her own. Her eyes met Jennie’s again as she slowly brought her hand up to meet her lips, kissing the top of it. “The pleasure is all mine, Jennie.”

Jennie’s cheeks turned rosy pink, but forced herself to maintain the professional composure. The fact that Lisa did not seem to care that she had, in theory, openly flirted with her boss’ fiancée was impressive just as it was concerning. Jennie let it slide.

When she was allowed to retreat her hand, she held it close to her chest and took a sharp intake of breath. Jennie’s pressed her lips together when she noticed the return of Lisa’s confident façade when she faced Kai again. “You’re lucky to have her as your fiancée.”

And there it was again. Words with other intentions. Yet again, Jennie was the only one that could sense the sarcasm.

Her words felt very bitter, but the gentleness of her lips lingered on Jennie’s hand for the rest of the evening. 

* * *

The next time Jennie met Lisa was at the company’s main building.

She had passed by to drop off some documents Kai left at her place. She didn’t expect that by the time she had to leave it’d be pouring outside. To makes things worse, she came with a taxi, and so she could not get anywhere without getting soaked. So she was left at the front lobby, looking through the glass doors at the incessant rain.

Her view was interrupted by a hand holding a black umbrella.

“Forgot to take one?”

Jennie recognised the voice immediately. How could she not? She heard that same voice again and again in her dreams.

She tried to hide the surprise by turning to face her with a resigned smile. “I’m afraid I have. Didn’t check the weather forecast this morning.”

Lisa looked at her in the exact same way she had on their first encounter. “It’s good to see you again, Jennie.”

And Jennie felt weak in the knees all over again.

“Likewise, Lisa.”

The blonde also turned to look at the foul weather. “You came with a car?”

Jennie shook her head slowly. “Today’s not my day, it seems.”

“Is Jongin not taking you home?”

“No. I didn’t see him today.”

Lisa stayed by her side for a few minutes, quietly listening to the raindrops. Jennie gave her small, subtle glances from now and then. The blonde was, again, in a suit. But this time she wore a long black coat over it and a grey scarf was wrapped around her neck. She was a very elegant woman, Jennie noticed.

“When you’re done staring, I can give you a ride home if you wish,” the blonde smirked.

Jennie looked away and cleared her throat. “Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.”

Lisa simply hummed knowingly and reached out for her hand, holding it softly. “Let’s get going then.”

Jennie let herself follow Lisa’s lead

The walk to the car was very silent, regardless of the two girls sharing the same umbrella. And yet Lisa never let go of Jennie’s hand, and the dark haired girl felt unusually comfortable with Lisa’s fingers interlocked with hers.

The car ride was less awkward than Jennie thought it’d be. Lisa asked her about her week, her music taste, her favourite movies and any other innocent little questions. She was making an effort to get to know her, and Jennie found the whole act very adorable.

When the car finally stopped on her driveway, Jennie undid her seatbelt under Lisa’s intense watch. If she was completely honest with herself, Jennie would admit that the looks Lisa gave her made her feel good. She felt wanted, she felt attractive. Kai never caused this reaction in her. And under different circumstances, she would have felt guilty. Bu she didn’t.

“I hope to see you again, soon,” Lisa almost whispered, her voice had gotten huskier for some reason.

Jennie hesitated in opening the car door. She sat still, and contemplated on the options she was given. She knew the sensible thing to do was to thank the girl and leave with no further interaction, but that was not what she wanted. And if Kai was allowed to have anything he wished for, why couldn’t she? For once in her life, she wanted to have things in her own way. So as she met Lisa’s eyes from the driver’s seat, she decided to go with what felt right with her heart.

“Do you want to come in?”

Her offer was accepted with no hesitation.

Initially, both were very civil. Lisa was very respectful of Jennie’s home, and didn’t invade on her personal space. Jennie, on her part, did not have the same modest thoughts. She couldn’t count the times she found herself looking at the blonde’s lips, and she was certain it did not go unnoticed by Lisa. She smirked whenever Jennie got caught in the act.

At some point in the evening, they ended up sitting closely in the living room. Jennie held the side of her head with her arm resting on the back of the couch, with a glass of wine in her free hand. Lisa was in her white shirt, leaning her head back to look at Jennie as she spoke with her legs comfortably stretched out, smiling whenever she heard Jennie giggle at her silly jokes. She didn’t drink, she preferred to remain sober for the drive back.

Except that night she never got to drive.

When both were engulfed in silence, Lisa looked at the other girl closely. Her hair slightly messy, her eyes a bit tired and her lips. Her full lips, tinted red not from lipstick, but from the wine. Lisa had never met a woman this perfect to her. And it wasn’t just physical attraction between them. Lisa would kiss the ground Jennie walked on if she was asked to. Their connection was unexpected, but Lisa liked every bit of it. She could not get enough.

“Jennie,” she whispered, stopping the Korean girl mid-sentence.

Jennie looked at her softly, waiting.

“I’d do anything to kiss you right now.”

Jennie parted her lips, shocked at the bold request. Lisa was not making any move, she gave her the complete power on what happened next.

If Jennie cared enough, Kai would have been on her mind at that moment. But he wasn’t.

That night was hers. Theirs.

And so she left the wine glass on the table in front of them, held Lisa’s face with both her hands and finally, pressed her lips to hers.

Their first kiss was slow and gentle. Lisa rested her hand on Jennie’s waist, needing her closer. When Jennie felt that, she lifted one leg and moved it across Lisa’s lap, managing to sit on top of her.

Lisa wrapped her arms around Jennie, keeping her safely against her. When their lips finally parted, she stared down at the blonde. Lisa gulped.

“Tell me you’re sober.”

Jennie nodded.

“Tell me. Please.”

Jennie held her face and rested her forehead against hers.

“A glass of wine won’t get me drunk, Lisa. I want you. Now.”

And that was all Lisa needed to hear. She quickly closed the gap between them and kissed her desperately.

The two girls locked themselves in Jennie’s bedroom the whole night. Lisa kissed her gently all over, worshipping every part of her. And Jennie let her, because there was nothing she wanted more than feeling Lisa’s lips, her hands, and the warmth of her naked body on hers. Nothing ever felt so right in her fucked up life. Nothing ever made her feel like Lisa did.

And for the first time, Jennie and Lisa slept peacefully in each other’s arms. The rest of the world could wait.

\---

The next morning Jennie woke up cold and alone. She reached for her phone on the bedside table, but was met with a neatly written note instead.

_I wanted nothing more than to see you waking up this morning, but your asshole of a fiancé called. Here’s my number. If you ever need someone to love you while he’s gone, I will. With the whole of me._

_Yours truly,  
Lisa_

* * *

Some people underestimate the power of holding one’s phone number. Jennie could call Lisa whenever and wherever she wanted with just the press of a button.

Except she didn’t get to enjoy such luxury for several days after their first night.

She hesitated many times, typing and deleting unsent texts. She would never regret letting herself be with Lisa, but she was scared. She was worried about not being careful enough. If Kai, her parents or even any worker at the company found out about her and Lisa, she was done for. She would lose everything.

But she still called her.

The first time, Lisa answered as if she had waited all along. She asked about how she had been, if there was anything concerning her. And it surprised Jennie that a girl she knew for such a short time knew more about her than Kai ever did. Lisa could tell that there was something bothering her, and Jennie felt relieved that she did not have to hide it.

So over the phone, Jennie told Lisa everything that had been on her mind. And Lisa was extremely sweet about it all.

“ _Do you want to stop?_ ”

“No.”

_“Do you want me to come over?”_

Jennie knew what those words implied. And she was not going to deny her.

\--

Jennie felt Lisa press a soft kiss to her forehead as she rested on her bare chest, safely wrapped in her strong arms in the comfort of her bed sheets. She was about to close her eyes when Lisa broke the silence with a sleepy voice.

“As long as you’ll have me, I won’t leave.” She lightly rubbed circles on her cheeks with her thumb and Jennie raised her head to look at her. “When you feel like that again, call me. Always.”

That’s the closest Jennie ever felt to stability.

* * *

The calls became more and more regular with each passing day. It wasn’t always an invitation to spend the night together, sometimes Jennie just felt like hearing Lisa’s voice. And those calls were the ones that touched her heart the most, just as much as they broke it. It was easy to pretend that Lisa was hers, but she wasn’t. And she wasn’t Lisa’s, she belonged to Kai. He was going to be her husband in a matter of months. But as long as she held some fraction of freedom, she would let herself be with Lisa.

That was the though she had in mind when she walked confidently into the company’s building. She wore high heels, a grey pencil skirt and a Chanel white blouse. Dressed to impress, one might say.

Kai had left for a business trip abroad that morning, and didn’t bother giving her a notice until the day before. So while he flew in first class, she was going to enjoy the luxury of not having him around.

She took the lift to the top floor, where she knew was Lisa’s office. She was the only one walking along the corridor, all doors were shut so she couldn’t tell which on led to Lisa. Luckily for her, a familiar face appeared from around the corner and was walking towards her.

“Rosie!”

Rosé’s eyes lit up when she finally registered who was in front of her.

“Jennie, what a surprise! I haven’t seen you around lately.”

Jennie responded with a sad smile. She had preferred not to see Kai at work, if he needed her he had to come and find her.

“Let’s just say I’ve been… busy,” she explained, “speaking of which, I’d like to discuss something urgent with whoever Kai left in charge.”

Rosé grinned. “That’s Lisa, you met her before,” she continued pointing behind her, “if you walk all the way down this corridor and turn left, you should see her office door at the end.”

Jennie thanked her and proceeded to follow the given directions. In no time she was in front of Lisa’s office, the door sign with ‘L. Manoban’ being a clear indication.

Not forgetting her manners, she knocked on the door. As soon as she heard Lisa’s little ‘come in’, she pushed it open and locked it right behind her.

Lisa’s look of surprise was adorable, her jaw dropping at the sight before her. “Jennie? How—what brings you here?”

“You.”

Lisa had barely any time to react before Jennie had her face in her hands and was kissing her with no restraints. To say Lisa didn’t dream about doing it in her office would be a blatant lie. That day she had Jennie coming undone on her desk over and over again.

* * *

Jennie called Lisa over many times, more than she thought she ever would. But Kai never found out.

He was never aware about what his fiancée was up to when he wasn’t there, yet somehow he managed to split them apart.

“Why do you have to go?”

“Your dear boyfriend trusts me with these kind of deals,” she scoffed, “as if he couldn’t take care of them himself.”

“How long?”

Lisa remained quiet for a few seconds, not wanting to upset the girl on the other end of the line.

“Lisa, just tell me—“

“—three weeks.”

Jennie tightened the grip she had on her phone, not trusting herself to say anything else.

“Baby, don’t stress. On the bright side, you can enjoy some alone time without me.” Lisa chuckled half-heartedly, knowing full well that she liked the situation just as much as Jennie did. That being, not at all.

“It’s fine. I’ll survive.”

“Hey, it’s the 21st century here. Video calls exist. You can still see my pretty face.”

That stole a laugh from Jennie. Lisa smiled unconsciously.

“I guess you’re right. Enjoy Paris, Lisa.” She paused. “Have fun, but not too much.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

\---

The first couple of days apart were bearable. Jennie kept herself busy, and Lisa was drowning in work most of the time. And even though the different time zones were a persistent issue, Jennie still made sure to send Lisa a text every single day. Sometimes she received a reply immediately, other times she didn’t.

Jennie tried to be as understanding as possible. She knew Lisa was occupied with whatever business she had in Paris, but the nights she spent staring at her phone screen in the hopes of a text or a call were the hardest to live through. She would stay wide awake, wondering what Lisa was up to on the other side of the world. Because yes, she had the means to contact her, but nothing compared to the feeling of being able to speak face to face.

However, there was another concern.

There was something Lisa was not telling her.

Jennie could hear it in her unsure tone when she spoke to her over the phone, or when she would randomly start to fidget with her hands whenever they managed to video call. There was definitely something bothering her, but Jennie just couldn’t figure out what it was. Sometime Lisa would sound so tired, and Jennie was left to wonder about the cause of such tiredness.

Was she tired of the job?

Of the country?

Of her boss?

Of… her?

The more Jennie thought about it, the more paranoid she became. It seemed that Lisa was distancing herself from her, acting cold every once in a while, except Jennie could not think about anything wrong she may had done. Had she?

Lisa was upset, and Jennie didn’t like it.

But their time apart also made her realise that Lisa was not hers. She could have had other girls in France and Jennie wouldn’t have had the right to know. And she couldn’t be a hypocrite, she was the one with the fiancé. But Lisa was free. They were not in a relationship. And no matter how much it hurt, Jennie had to accept the fact that Lisa was not going to be permanent in her life. One day, she would have to leave. She was going to find a girl that could give her everything that Jennie couldn’t.

And fuck, it hurt her more than anything.

Jennie didn’t try to contact Lisa again for the rest of her trip.

* * *

It took 27 missed calls and 53 unanswered texts for Lisa to give up. Or at least, that was the conclusion Jennie had come to.

She knew she was not exactly being mature about the whole situation, but in her defence, she was not well.

The day right after she decided to give herself some space to think, she got sick. She tried to pretend it was nothing too serious, but she got weaker and weaker in just a matter of days, and so she was forced to rest in bed. It got to the point where she had to call her best friend for assistance.

“Why the hell did you not call me sooner? Luckily your fever is almost gone.”

She had missed Jisoo. She was one of the few people Jennie could confide in and fully trust. They had been friends since university, alongside her other close friend Irene. The three did not get to see each other often due to their hectic work lives, but they still managed to remain just as close.

“I didn’t know I was ill,” she let out quietly. She had her back leaning against a bunch of pillows and looked at Jisoo placing a bowl of chicken soup next to her on the nightstand.

“Of course you didn’t. Where’s your dumb boyfriend?”

Jennie sighed. Obviously Kai had visited her, but he had gone back to work after barely an hour. It was not an issue for Jennie, he wasn’t the most helpful person.

“At work, where else.”

Jisoo scoffed. “It still baffles me that you’re going to marry him. Are you sure you want to make babies with that _thing_?”

She got a pillow thrown at her face.

“Stop talking about my life. What’s up with yours?”

“The usual I guess,” she shrugged. “The clinic in never empty. I get to see cute pets all day, although some are a bit weird. It’s alright to be fair.”

Jennie gave her an unimpressed look. “No love interest?”

“As if. I’m a busy woman. All my love is for my dear Dalgom.”

Jennie laughed, because Jisoo wouldn’t be Jisoo if she didn’t bring up her dog in any kind of conversation.

“What about Irene, how’s her new boyfriend?” she asked, remembering the last conversation she had with the older girl the previous week. She had mentioned that she started seeing someone, and genuinely sounded over the moon.

Jisoo cleared her throat. “Girlfriend, actually.”

Jennie stared at her with wide eyes, a spoonful of soup in her hand stopping mid-air. How did she miss this crucial piece of information?

“Really?”

Jisoo nodded calmly.

“Wow, that’s great. Do I know her?” she asked curiously, finally getting the spoon in her mouth.

Jisoo grinned. “Yep. It’s Joy.”

Jennie nearly choked.

“Joy as in Park Sooyoung? The high school cutie Joy with a huge crush on Irene?”

“She’s more sexy than cute if you saw her now, but yes. Park Joy.”

Jennie was shocked. The whole Joy-Irene thing was an ongoing joke in her uni days, with Irene being five years older than Joy. It was adorable to see Joy’s one-sided pining, Irene always treated her like a little sister. She couldn’t get her head around the idea of them actually dating.

“I cannot process this. How, when, what—”

“Calm down Jen. I know it’s a bit weird knowing how they were years ago, but people change.”

“What change? Irene didn’t change. She’s been the same girl since we’ve known her!” she argued

Jisoo simply shook her head. “That’s where you’re wrong. Irene was always scared. Dating a girl scared her. Dating someone her family didn’t approve of scared her. Love scared her. Joy scared her. She just got tired of running away from her fears.”

“How could she do that? It’s going to affect her whole life.”

“Some people are worth risking it all, even when it means you’ll disappoint others.” Jennie felt Jisoo’s intense stare on her. “Wouldn’t you do the same if you had someone willing to do anything to make you happy? Someone who could make you feel safe in any situation? Someone who actually loved you for who you are? That’s who Joy is to Irene.”

It was too much for Jennie. Her breathing became heavier and her vision started to get blurry. She knew Jisoo was smart, she had probably sensed there was something wrong in her life. And who was she to hide it?

She felt arms wrap around her shoulders, her head being tucked gently under Jisoo’s chin. “Tell me, Jennie. What’s tormenting you so badly?”

And so Jennie told her. About her parents, about Kai, and mostly, about Lisa. Her Lisa, who always made time to see her and turned her day brighter with just a smile. Her Lisa, who held her while she slept and whispered sweet words in her ears. Her Lisa, who managed to make her forget about her ruined future. Her Lisa, who was upset somewhere in Paris. Her Lisa, who wasn’t even hers.

And Jisoo listened to it all. Quietly, attentively, she took in everything she gave. When the tears stopped, Jisoo softly dabbed a tissue under her eyes to dry the remains of her pain.

“I don’t know why you think she’s mad, but maybe answering her calls would help.”

Jennie looked up at her confused.

Jisoo pointed at her Samsung resting on the edge of the bed. “Her name came up like twice in the past hour, your missed calls count is ridiculous.”

Jennie would have liked to answer her, but she felt so, so tired. Her eyelids felt heavy, and her body strength was giving up on her. When Jisoo noticed, she forced her to take her medication before tucking her into bed.

\---

The following morning, it wasn’t Jisoo that was holding her as she woke up.

It was Lisa.

Jennie’s instinct was to assume it was a dream. Lisa was in France, and it wasn’t the first time she had appeared in her dreams anyways.

She was looking down at her, her hand moving to get rid of the messy hair covering Jennie’s face. Even if it was a dream, Lisa’s warmth remained exactly the same. And the smile she gave her touched her heart.

Jennie couldn’t feel her fever anymore, yet her hallucination of Lisa was probably a clear sign that she was extremely ill.

“Good morning.”

Her voice. She had missed her voice. A phone call never did justice to it. In normal conversations it was sweet as honey, as cheesy as that sounded, while in the bedroom it would turn huskier and deeper. Sometimes Jennie believed that Lisa did that on purpose to turn her on even more. It always worked.

Jennie didn’t reply. Why would she need to speak in her dream, when all she wanted to focus on was Lisa and only Lisa?

When she felt Lisa’s palm touch her forehead, she unconsciously closed her eyes at the unexpected comfort.

“The fever is gone,” she heard her sigh in relief.

Gone? She was full on having a lucid dream. Jennie wanted to laugh. But she didn’t, not wanting to risk waking up fully.

Lisa’s eyes were still on her half-opened ones, and Jennie felt the need to speak to her, regardless of it being a dream.

“I know you’re not real,” she whispered, “but I miss you so much.”

Lisa smiled at her, so lovingly that Jennie thought she was real for a second.

While Jennie was still on her back with her head resting on Lisa’s arm, the blonde moved from her side to hover over her, with her free arm supporting her.

And Jennie could only look up at her in wonder, this specific dream was lot more realistic than the others.

And then Lisa’s lips were pressing a kiss on her forehead. On her cheeks. Along her jaw. And finally, on the corner of her lips. The feeling was way too familiar. No matter how much she tried, recreating the softness of Lisa’s lips was just impossible. So why was she feeling it? Why did her heart start beating fast again?

When Lisa pulled away and met her eyes, Jennie lifted her hands to hold the blonde’s face.

“You’re not a dream.”

It wasn’t really a question, more like a statement. Lisa was in Seoul, in her room, on her bed. This Lisa was real in every way possible.

And if she was unsure before, Lisa’s light chuckle confirmed it.

“I’m afraid not,” she turned her head slightly to the side to place a kiss on Jennie’s palm. “How are you feeling baby?”

A few tears escaped Jennie’s eyes. She had missed her so much, and the frustration that had built up over the past days was suddenly gone. She lifted her upper body and threw her arms around Lisa, burying her face in her shoulder.

She didn’t say anything, but Lisa held her just as tightly.

\----

After fully waking up and getting cleaned up, Jennie invited Lisa to some coffee. The sat next to each other on the familiar couch, an awkward silence surrounding them. Lisa suddenly took a deep breath and turned to face the older girl, who was still shyly staring at her drink.

“I called you many times.”

“I know.”

“You didn’t answer. Not even a text.”

Jennie sighed and left the coffee in the small table in front of them.

“You didn’t want me to answer though, did you?”

Lisa frowned at her words. “Of course I did. I don’t understand what made you think that.”

Jennie laughed sarcastically. “You have been so distant this past week. I don’t know what happened, but your cold attitude was not very reassuring.”

“I wasn’t being distant.”

“Trust me, you were.”

“Okay, maybe I was,” she finally admitted. “But I had my reasons.”

“I’m not mad, Lisa. But it would have been nice if you had let me know about these _reasons_.”

Lisa leaned back and sighed tiredly. “It’s stupid, really.”

Jennie’s reached over to hold Lisa’s hand on her lap, giving her an encouraging look.

“After a few days of me being in Paris, Jongin called. He always does that to check on the progress of the deal, so I expected it.”

“What did he tell you?”

“You should know that he does bring you up in conversations very often,” she laughed bitterly, “his way of showing off. But that time, he started saying very… explicit things.”

Jennie’s grip on Lisa’s hand became stronger. She had a feeling of where things were going.

“He said—He told me you…”

“Just say it, please.”

“He told me he got to fuck you every single night that week… and other things. I know you’re engaged to him, I know. But I still felt hurt. I’m sorry.”

Lisa was looking down at her lap, scared to let Jennie see how vulnerable she actually felt.

“When you started ignoring my calls, I told myself it was meant to happen at some point. So I stopped trying altogether. But I kept missing you like crazy, so I called your workplace to ask about you. They told me you had not come in for days because you were sick. I took the first flight back I found.”

Jennie couldn’t hold the tears back anymore, and for what felt like the hundredth time she pressed her forehead to Lisa’s shoulder and let herself cry.

Lisa wad hurting because of her. She was hurting at the thought of not being with her. She was hurting because of lies.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s my fault, I should have known my place, I’m sorry.” From her voice, Jennie knew Lisa was also holding back from crying.

And Jennie could only shake her head repeatedly. She tried to find her composure again, wiped her tears as best as she could and moved to sit on Lisa’s lap. She touched the younger girl’s cheek softly and tilted her head upwards to get a look at her eyes. They were, unsurprisingly, red from the unshed tears.

“Stop apologising for something you didn’t do. I haven’t let him touch me from the first night I spent with you. I didn’t sleep with him in months.”

The look of relief and surprise on Lisa’s face made Jennie’s heart feel lighter. A stupid lie slapped Lisa on the face, and Jennie was going to do anything to kiss it all better.

“You didn’t?”

Jennie shook her head no. And when Lisa leaned forward to kiss her, she welcomed her with open arms. That was what home felt like.

\---

Jennie had to go back to bed later that morning, feeling weak again. Lisa never left her side, providing her with anything she may have needed. She cooked, helped her change (a bit cheekily) and even watched her favourite TV shows with her. The more Jennie looked at Lisa around her house, the more she felt like that was where she belonged. The thought of coming back to her every night was blissful.

It wasn’t the first time she had thought about a future with Lisa, and every time she did, she became more confident about the decision she was about to take. She was not going to let herself be tied to unhappiness for the rest of her life.

“Lisa,” she called her over as the other girl was somewhere in the living room.

When she heard her name, Lisa was back next to Jennie in no time, sitting down on her bed and checking her temperature.

“Is the fever back?”

“No. I have to tell you something.”

Lisa gave her a slightly concerned look, but let Jennie continue.

“My wedding is next month.”

“Yeah, I know,” she smiled sadly.

“I’m ending it.”

Lisa’s body went rigid and her bottom lip started trembling. When she noticed, Jennie realised her mistake and wanted to clarify, but Lisa didn’t let her.

“Jennie, please, I can still be there for you. I know you can never be mine, but I’m completely yours.”

“Lisa –“

“I won’t force you to be with me, but I could make you happy if you’d let me,” Lisa already had tears in her eyes, and Jennie guiltily wanted to hear the rest of her speech. “I know I don’t have the same status as he does, nor his same wealth, but I’d do anything for you.”

Just when Jennie was to interrupt again, Lisa held her hands with both hands and stared right at her soul.

“I know I don’t have the right to, but I’m so in love with you. I think I’ve always been, and will continue to for however long you’d want me to.”

Jennie grinned widely, her eyes also getting teary.

“Stop talking.”

“Jennie please—“

Jennie shut her up in the only way she knew. That being, kissing her desperately.

“I’m ending the engagement, silly.”

Lisa stared at her with wide eyes. “You are?”

Jennie nodded proudly. “I want to be all yours, Lisa. Your Jennie, no one else’s.”

“Really? You do?”

“More than anything I’ve ever wanted. I love you so much.”

Lisa laughed in disbelief and went back to Jennie’s lips, pressing her down on the mattress. And Jennie could only smile into the kiss. Now that she had her, she was never letting her go

* * *

Breaking off an engagement is never easy. Jennie wasn’t thinking that because she felt bad, but because she had to deal with insignificant arguments.

“Jennie, this is insane!”

Once again, Jennie felt the need to roll her eyes. She had been sitting in Kai’s office for nearly half an hour trying to get him to understand her decision. She was now regretting making the effort in the first place. 

“Think about your parents, they would never approve!”

“They’re fine with it.” They really weren’t, but Jennie hoped that one day they would. “You don’t love me, I don’t love you. We’re making a mistake.”

“Of course I love you!”

Jennie raised her eyebrow unimpressed.

“Okay maybe we don’t have those kind of feelings. But think about my reputation Jennie! People are never going to stop talking about me getting dumped!”

“I don’t care,” she finally snapped. “Tell them you dumped me, or any other excuse. I’m done with this.”

With that, she stood up, grabbed her purse and left without another word. The engagement ring remained on Kai’s desk.

She exited that office as a single woman, and entered another as Lisa’s girlfriend.

“How did it go?”

Jennie shrugged and didn’t bother answering. She was free, and that was what mattered. Lisa understood regardless, and stepped forward to hug her. She could see Jennie was tired, and couldn’t wait to take her home. No guilt, not regrets, no hiding. Just the two of them.

The two girls were too caught up in their embrace that they didn’t notice the figure leaning against the door frame, a smirk plastered on her smug face.

“Took you both long enough.”

Jennie immediately let go of Lisa and spun around, quickly enough to make her feel a bit dizzy.

“Rosie?” “Chaeng?” they said at the same time, making Rosé laugh lightly.

“Your faces are so red right now, how cute.”

“Park Chaeyoung, since when were you this close to Jennie?” Lisa asked confused, standing with one hand around Jennie’s waist. She felt almost offended that her best friend knew Jennie all along after the countless times she had called her for advice.

Rosé still had that cheeky grin. “I never said I wasn’t. Jennie here always takes me out for lunch whenever she passes by.”

Jennie was not as shocked as the blonde was. “Oh! So Lisa is the childhood best friend you told me about.”

“Ah, I always knew you’d be the smart one in the relationship,” Rosè sighed dramatically.

Lisa was still not happy.

“Relax Lis, just came by to remind you to be out by four. Enjoy your freedom!” And with that, she left the couple alone again.

Jennie looked at Lisa’s pout, smiling at the cuteness. She had tried to convince Lisa to not leave her job, but Lisa insisted that she never wanted to see Jongin ever again. (When Jennie asked why she kept calling him by his real name, Lisa said that Kai was just the confident and arrogant figure he made out of himself and that she would never accept him as such. Jennie had to agree with her reasoning.)

“Stop being grumpy.”

“I guess I should be used to Chaeyoung being, well, Chaeyoung,” she finally said, pulling Jennie back into a hug.

“Hey Lisa.”

“Hmm.”

“Do you think Rosie would mind if I gave her number to a friend?”

* * *

In the end, Jennie didn’t have to call Lisa that often anymore. She could find her waiting for her at home every single night.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Kai, but he just suited the role for this story  
> i tried to proofread but i may have missed some mistakes. 
> 
> I really enjoy reading your comments, so let me know your thoughts. 
> 
> Until next time.


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